Bad Dreams

Chinese Scat Porn.  Yep, that’s what set the tone this week.  Nothing like watching a Chinese girl, who I may or may not have fucked, take a dump in her panties.  She’s married now and her husband makes her do these things on video.  I thought I would get turned on or have the last laugh, but neither of those things happened.  I felt sad as I watched the video and I wanted to eat, but I’m on a diet so I just drank more.  I know drinking late at night is also bad, but what the fuck was I supposed to do?  Besides, the Chinese scat girl was pissed off at ME for my “Reduce Global Sexual Poverty” initiative.  That was a noble effort.  I can’t help it if only two people actually received a sex toy and one of them died because of it.  Not my fault.

And then I found out about the porn star and her “Bukkake Files” and vowed to take a more active role in silentpillow.  Things came up.  I attended a local boxing event and gambled to my heart’s content.  Mix that in with my new love for netflix and gamefly and the end result is a very distracted and pacified Jake.  I have plenty to say about sex clubs and I have a lot of racist jokes lined up for the next few posts.

I am also starting a new charity.  Are you ready for a “Jacob Fun Package”??  Terrible name, I know, but I was drunk when I came up with it.  Only the best and the brightest are qualified to receive a Jacob Fun Package.  Maybe you will receive a year’s supply of tortillas and tamales.  Maybe you will receive poorly drawn and morally offensive comic strips created by Jake Himself.  Maybe you will receive romantic mixtapes from 1999.  Who knows?

I was supposed to write this post a few days ago and totally lost the meaning of the whole “Bad Dreams” theme.  Oh well.

Fuck it.